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Tuesday, September 19, 2006


The al-UH Daily Cougar 'The Never Offenders of Islam' (But hell with Christianity -- its OPEN SEASON)

Be rest assured that the liberals at the al-UH Daily Cougar would never print a muhammad caricature for fear that they might offend al-UH columnist and failed al-Qaeda suicide bomber Adil Saleem, as well as the much feared UH Muslim Students Association.

But hell, with Our Lord Jesus Christ, liberals consider it open season on God at the al-UH Daily Cougar since only one-quarter of all liberals consider themselves to be Worshippers of the Cross.
Austin Havican is no different among the heavy haired, bearded, and unbathed liberals on the UH campus, except that he expresses his hate for Christianity in cartoon form. Just by looking at him, you can tell he ain't no Christian, and hence we get today's editorial cartoon.

Screw the Godless libs!

"Austin Havican is no different among the heavy haired, bearded, and unbathed liberals"

Didn't they say the same thing about Jesus too? Sounds like you'd be the Christ-hater, buddy.

Sorry to hear you've been oppressed by the lame school newspaper again.
And Jesus didn't wear underwear either.
Wow, I honestly have never heard that Jesus went commando. Pretty interesting.Do you dissapprove of that?

I'm curious; didn't Jesus also do a lot of stuff like...

-give to the poor
-preach acceptance of others
-and non-violence
-and hung out with people like tax collectors, prostitutes, and the other "non-desirable" members of society despite their minority (or majority) status
-and calmly listened to others and respected their opinions, even if he disagreed with them?

Now I'm no Christ scholar, but I am a fellow Roman Catholic (which I understand is also your denomination). Based on what I've seen of your blog, and your lack of adhearence to our Lord's principles, I was wondering...

Are you actually a Satan worshipper? Do you in reality practice the black arts against David Salinas, Adil Saleem, Palestinian children, journalists, AND Harry Belafonte? (it isn't inconceivable; voodoo is inspired in part by Catholicism, after all)

Not that there is anything wrong with that by the way. Just because you have apparently renounced Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior and invert and spit on crosses doesn't mean you are any less of a person than I am.

After all, we as Americans owe a lot to the nobility of our Founding Fathers' vision in the Constitution (you already know this; you're a UH Law student, right?).

The principles they laid out in that document established equality in the eyes of the law and humanity for prostitutes, tax collectors, criminals, terrorists, and - of course - heresy-loving, blood- sacrificing, mean-spirited, vindictive, humanity-hating, closet homosexual Satan Worshippers like yourself.(Sodomy is an intricate part of your culture and rituals I understand, not that there is anything wrong with that either)

Be who you are UH Liberal Hater. The sooner you come out of the "blasphemous orgy of hate closet," the sooner your life will improve. I wish you every success in life.

Peace be with you, my Brother.
You must be thinking of Santeria which has origins with voodo from africa, some catholic influences, and some native american influences. Voodo itself is african in origin.

Nice fact checking lib. By the way Jesus killed a tree because it did not have any fruit to give him once too. Too bad a lib was not attached to it. Then again if it had a lib attached to it, the tree would of had plenty of fruit on it.
Oh...by the way...all males looked like that 2,000 years before disposable razors. There is no excuse for it in the 21st century however.
Love the picture...a pussy stroking his pussy. Great Job!

Who would have guessed anyone would get so riled up over something printed in the Cougar High Newspaper!
Damn, liberal be pissed.
Shouldn't you be in Iraq?
"all males looked like that 2,000 years before disposable razors. There is no excuse for it in the 21st century however"

Yeah, like totally. Sharp pieces of metal weren't even invented until the Industrial Revolution, in the early 1950's.

And alabamaslim, don't taunt Cougar High Librul Hater. He'd be in Iraq right now kicking UBL's ass, except for that part about his brain being too stupid to pass the qualification test.
Dudes, I was in Iraq when you guys were still wetting your pants.
damn, it's been twenty years?

Bush must have really fucked up if we've been there since any college student was wetting my pants.

Or did you mean to imply that your dissenters were wetting their beds more recently because even though they can get into college most of them are too brain dead to control their bodily functions.

Because both points are valid.
He must have been there when Rumsfeld was. I wonder what they were up to. But in reality, Lib Hater continues to hide behind his posh (read: $11/hour) job doing tech work on campus. Hooray for cowardice.
I thought the hater was a teacher?
Someone pointed this out to me today, and I thought I should make a comment to clarify a few things the polite and diplomatic author of this blog has said.

First, we get the al-UH joke. It's very funny and I'm glad you've written it four times in this one short post.

Next, if you pay such close attention to my cartoons, I'm sure you've seen my March 2nd, 2006 cartoon about the Muslim reaction to the infamous Danish cartoons. It's here: http://www.stp.uh.edu/vol71/101/Todays/Issue/opinion/eddy-toon.gif In it, I'm criticising the extreme censoship and offense taken at the cartoons, caused by overzealous religious fanatics. Which, yes, means I like to draw cartoons about the absurdities of religion that (ironically) have negative effects on our American and global society.

Also, before quoting a percentage of religious Democrats, you should really make an effort to read your information more carefully. The poll you're quoting was on the percentage of people who see Democrats as religious people, not the percentage of democrats that actually consider themselves religious (which, by the way, was 79% Catholic or Protestant in the year 2004, according to pollsters at Barna.org).

I don't hate Christianity. I just do not respect its ignorant followers who misinterpret the teachings of their Deities- as is the case with any religion. If a religious person can be kind and honest, and use their religion as a tool (or crutch) to better themselves, then there is no problem with that. The problem lies in people like you, who develop a hatred for beliefs that transcend your own close-mindedness. It has nothing to do with your gospel, despite the fact that it is contradictory, ignorant, and a scapegoat for killing others.

Oh, and I'm not a pussy; I'm contactig you directly to let you know I have a dispute with what you've written. The author of this blog is the one hiding behind a screen, even though I would've been more than happy to discuss his problems via direct email (which he obviously has).

Lastly, I don't see what my personal appearance has to do with anything. Unless, of course, you need another target to aim your misguided hostility at.
Dude, what is your deal exactly? To the other 90% of America (those of us who aren't retarded for Hitler's boner) you come off as a bit crazy. I mean, seriously. Every time I've ended up on your blog, it was because someone was making fun of what you wrote.

This whole thing you are doing just seems so obsessive and pointless. God forbid that there should be people who are different from you on this earth.

You know what? China.

There are 1,313,973,713 people in China, almost none of whom are Christian. I don't see you railing on about godless Taoist China. Maybe you should take a good long look at this planet you live on and where you fit into it. Maybe it's not all about you.
since when were the repulicans "nice"
to liberals...since you are so tired of being so?
Austin, your March 2nd, 2006 cartoon on the muslim reaction to the Danish cartoons showed nothing but your status as a member of the new castrati in the liberal media.

You took no steps at even trying to place a presence of muhammed on the page. That there shows how much backbone you have, and how liberals can't be trusted with national security. As obama said, the liberals "are the party of reaction."

You're just like any other liberal who is afraid of offending someone, especially people who are hellbent to kill you. You see Bush as the terrorists, and UBL as a folkhero.

Jesus may forgive you for insulting him in your cartoon but I won't. Not that you actually believe.

And to other lib Matt. When was the last time the political party (of the people making fun of me) won an election?
Jesus may forgive you for insulting him in your cartoon but I won't. Not that you actually believe.

Now come on UH...Hater (can I call you that? Lemme know if it's cool. If it hurts your feelings or something, holler, and I'll be more considerate toward your emotions), that's a buncha bolgna.

Even the most secular - or most pious, for that matter - sect of Christianity teaches us to be like the J-Man! Y'know, you never did clarify that whole "Satan Worshiper" trait I asked you about before (Hey, it's cool bro).

And to other lib Matt. When was the last time the political party (of the people making fun of me) won an election?

Oooo...now there's that repressed rage I was talking about. Two things:

A. Just because someone is "making fun of you" doesn't necessarily mean they are members/supporters of the democratic party, the obvious object of your nasty feelings (well, one of them, at any rate).

For instance, I have shown your blog to both of my parents, both of whom are fairly Conservative (my Mom likes Limbaugh, my Dad is more into George Will - he's, like, a real conservative writer, or something like that).

Long story short, the blog embarrassed and disturbed my Mother, and was extremely asinine to my Father (I'll spare you the nasty details of what they said they think of you - I know you're sensitive).

The Moral: Liberals and Democrats aren't the only ones making fun of you.

And B. Though you "choose" to be anonymous, you let some of your true feelings known with that "the politcal party of the people making fun of me" comment.

It shows us that you can and do feel. And you feel hurt and unloved; unlistened to, unheard.

So under that whole Mr. Crabby-Pants facade you really can cry, weep, and feel insecurity and doubt about your role in this work-a-day world. I'm here to tell you this: It's okay to be scared UH...Hater. You don't have to be a big tough fellah around me! I want to get you to like yourself again!

So all you rat-bastard liberal fruitcakes listen and listen good: Quit freaking picking on UH...Hater! That's my homeboy! Just because he can't argue like a sane person, listen to others, or fall asleep without bitterly sobbing to himself about how sniveling all you weak liberals are does not mean he isn't a person like you or me!

I mean COME ON. Are you guys new? Of course UH...Hater isn't going to give a reasonable reply to your well-thought out critques. He's incapable of it.

I've theorized that he may have had an...umm...uncomfortable experience with a homosexual liberal democro-facist. I don't know for certain how old he is, but I'm guessing it may have been during Mondale's presidential campaign. That guy did always strike me as a little...odd. But once again, this is pure speculation. UH...Hater has problems "letting people in" so to speak (I'm trying to work on that).

Back to UH...Hater: Pay no mind to these communists pigs who mock you! It is only a sign of their desperate insecurities and feelings of massive inferiority that they harbor towards you. You are a person, and you do have feelings; and that's OK.

Once again, if you ever need a close friend and confidante, I'm here for you. Leave the past behind, and fly like a tiny conservative sparrow to a brave, new morality-based world.

Have a nice day at work tomorrow.
JIAWM--when did the almighty turn your mouse into a sarcasam trowel? Layin it on a little thick don't you think brother? Got any Newsboys albums for me to borrow?
My Lord Jesus IAWM. Please don't show this blog to your Mom and Dad anymore. It's not designed for them.

Truth be told its really only designed for me.

I know I go a little off the top here when letting off steam. But I really worry about those libs who really take what I say seriously and not get a smile or giggle out of it.
Anon: F--kin'A I bump that Newsboys! Call me after work tomorrow, and I'll hook you up with Hell is for Wimps. And I am as The Almighty made me, in his inifinite wisdom and glory.

Now, UH...Hater (I hope it won't offend you if I call you that? I can't bring myself to type the "L" word):

"My Lord Jesus IAWM. Please don't show this blog to your Mom and Dad anymore. It's not designed for them."

My bad, I should I have clarified about my parents (who are both mature, educated, and read the paper everyday). My Mother was not embarrassed/disturbed by this blog in itself, she felt that way because after reading your posts she was embarrassed to identify herself as a Conservative. As for Pops, he - once again - didn't think your blog per se was asinine, but that it's author was asinine. He had a hard time believing you are old enough to remember the 1st Gulf War, let alone fight in it.

In fact my Dad made this interesting observation about (what we do know of) you: It's that not only are you dishonoring yourself with this blog, but you are also making other members of the U.S. Military and other conservatives look like complete retards who are too dumb to effectively write a shopping list, let alone a blog. That was the opinion of a conservative, like Jack GD Bauer (I'm sorry, Father is a cruel man. He's not a nice conservative like you are).

But back to your words:
"Truth be told its really only designed for me"

If it's only designed for you, why do you even bother putting it on the web? Ever hear of a diary?
If it really is designed only for lil' ol' anonymous you, and it's really to let out steam, don't you think it's kinda selfish on your part that you drag your fellow students' names through the mud, encourage people to harass them through email, just so you can feel better about yourself? Isn't that slightly...ah...err...Pathetic for a grown man?

And finally:
"I know I go a little off the top here when letting off steam. But I really worry about those libs who really take what I say seriously and not get a smile or giggle out of it."

Oh, okay. So you consider saying things like, say, Seeing as the lib media will never support a US victory against terror to keep our country sound, we need to do what the Mexican druglords to do reporters in Mexico -- kill them, "going a little off the top when letting off steam" (whatever that means)?

Yeah, your right. Those dumbass, overly-PC liberals - gotta go and get offended everytime someone calls for their murders. I'm sorry, but if you seriously think that comments like those are just "going a little off the top," then you REALLY need an anti-psychotic, now.

I mean dude, seriously, you could get arrested and kicked outta school if you said that to anyone's face (and probably get jumped too, no matter if you pack heat or not). Why do you think that that is anymore appropriate online? Are you on meth?

For God's sake, "a smile or giggle?" Who are these people who like you or find you funny/insightful? Your parents? I have mentioned this blog to people at school of all political stripes (two, from your definition), and I cannot find a single person who thinks you have anything worthwhile to say. Did your therapist reccommend you do this to get over some kind of emotional problem from your childhood?

Sorry for the all the passion here, but I just can't comprehend why you exist like this. I'm not pissed at you, I feel bad for you. Genuinely. Your life must suck if writing all that stuff really is just you "blowing off steam," My God in Heaven. When was the last time you got a hug?

Hit me back, Dawg.
Seriously, Liberal Hater, you are my hero for even acknowledging some of the idiots who post on your blog.
Can Senator Foley give anybody here a hug? How about a spicy text message at least?
I hear that if you are really good, Represenative Foley will give you a candy bar after the hug to encourage you to keep quiet about the hug.
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