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Monday, April 25, 2005


UH Daily Cougar slow today (Dead squirrel mourned on front page: To hell with dead fetuses!)

The UH Daily Cougar chronicled accounting and finance senior Andrea Cordoba's heroic effort to give a dead squirrel a proper burial on Sunday, but when it comes to human fetuses they just throw them in the corner of the DC offices, stinking up their place.

Why did the squirrel die? It looked pretty young and healthy to me.

Was it West Nile virus? Did someone poison the pesky squirrel? Was there an autopsy? Should Animal Cops Houston be investigating? Or better yet, why wasn't Harris County notified of the dead squirrel?

See how the yahoo's at the DC office can overlook something so simple as a dead squirrel and leave so many issues open for questioning. Wayne Dolcefino's the DC reporters are not. Anyway, what nuthead from the DC office would be roaming around the campus on a Sunday afternoon looking for a picture. Obviously it was staged. I wouldn't be surprised if someone from the DC strangled the squirrel, and poor Andrea, who happened to be walking by the power building, was asked for a photo opportunity.

On the opinion page, the only thing that made sense was the Editorial Cartoon bringing light to the growing UN Oil-for-Food Scandal, of which the only reason that it did make sense was because the DC editorial cartoonist did not do it.

UH Daily Cougar columnist and UH College Democrat officer Nick Somarkis, ever the socialist, showed why he will never be de facto drafted since his rich liberal parents can pay his way to France for the summer.

Screw the libs!

Does anyone know how the squirrel died?
It died of an overdose of liberalism.

Either that or there is a toxic leak by the UH power plant.
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