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Tuesday, April 05, 2005


UH Daily Cougar Columnist Sarah Morgan 'Hates Guns' (Poor use of sarcasm is moronic)

UH Daily Cougar columnist Sarah Morgan had an assignment from her psychology professor: take an issue, and use reverse psychology by employing pessimism in order to effect a positive outcome. The only problem was, instead of conducting her experiment on a little kid like most of her classmates, she writes a column and treats us like 5 year-olds.

In her tripe today "
Guns are something for everyone," Morgan baits the weak minded UH student about guns by noting the "recent shootings -- the church in Wisconsin, the school in Minnesota, the family of a federal judge in Chicago, the courthouses in Atlanta and Tyler," and just how those tragedies could have been averted if everyone had guns and could shoot back. She was so struck with shootings that she took a break from her "Chicken Little" series, and turned to "something that seems more important of late: guns." Next time Sarah, do the reader a favor, and stick to scaring us to death on the environment.

Morgan whose mother is a member of Mothers Against Guns wouldn't even allow Sarah to use 'pop guns' as a kid, sees that "desperate times call for desperate measures," and lovingly has come up with several modest proposals to help our society survive. She notes a "recent New York Times article reported that many of those affected by these tragedies feel they have the answer to such shooting incidents -- more guns." She noted the DA from Waukesha County in Wisconsin, who noted in the article "we need to put more guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens," and Morgan takes the idea and runs with it.

Don't get
Morgan started because you won't get the girl to stop. She happily reported that five states recently started allowing its citizens to start packing concealed weapons, along with several others that don't even require a permit. She continues on with school based armories managed by principals with keys to the arms "that can be handed off to teachers when all hell breaks loose."

Morgan then assaults Congress for letting the "ban on assault weapons expire," and then suggest ways on how to beef up the school arsenals by adding "a semiautomatic pistol with a silencer, or perhaps even a bayonet (all categorized as assault weapons) would be ideal for those school settings." Her whole commentary is mindless dribble.

Morgan, who hits the dirt if a car backfires, "believes Education majors at UH should begin their gun training now, so that by the time they graduate, they are ready to take charge of any dangerous situation when they get that job at HISD." She firmly maintains that "by 2015, every teacher should be equipped with a handgun." By now, even the UH weak minded student would have caught on, and simply turned the page, but with myself committed to you I had to drudge along with her tripe.

Morgan continues her reverse psychology assault with boring examples on allowing more guns in court rooms, restaurants, and even bars. "What's more American than guns and beer?" Or better yet, "when a bartender notices a patron might be getting a little tipsy, they should be rewarded with a larger gun." I bet by now the liberals themselves would be praying for Sarah's commentary to just end.

Morgan's tripe is prolonged into a free-fall with quips about crying children on airliners that "keep the rest of the passengers awake? Well there's nothing like a 12-gauge to lull a child into a very deep sleep." She bottoms out with her proposal "that by 2050, every child in the United States of America be given a gun the day they learn to walk," and has a vision that "diaper companies could manufacture diapers with little holsters attached to the sides, and Baby Gap could create stylish holsters with dancing ducks or tiny tulips embroidered into the leather." Hell, next thing you know, Sarah will be calling for guns to be surgically implanted with fetuses so they can blow themselves away instead of having to be aborted.

The only thing
Morgan wrote that made any sense was "guns don't kill people -- people kill people."

Morgan's support of banning guns oozes from her commentary, but it is obvious that the only thing that should be banned is Sarah Morgan's use of sarcasm. Stick to the environment in your writing Sarah. You already do a lousy enough job at that.

Screw the libs!

I don't get it. You didn't really attack her ideas. All you said was that it's dumb, basically, with no qualification as to why. I think you just see her name and automatically want to say something negative. Pick your battles. If you don't have anything to say, then shut your mouth.
The only thing good about this column is that it wasnt about the environment -- again.
That's all she ever writes about.
Hey hater, isn't the staff editorial today like, your mantra?
She attacked her own ideas. I just pointed out idiotic she was in her presentation.

Liberals and sarcasm don't mix.

I felt sorry for her as I read it, thinking she was doing the liberal cause any good.
Justin, I would have loved to pick apart the editorial today, but I'm closing in on test time in the next couple of days.

If it would have ran on Friday, I would have been more available to respond.
It is funny how easy it is for some people to pick apart an idea on a totally subjective basis. You say the fact that she hates guns is liberal but the entire nature of conservativism is the valuing of order in the community at large instead of the rights of an individual. It reads more of Texas individualism than conservatism. I htink you may want to re-evalutate you priorities. Why would anyone need to carry a gun any way - I live on the more "dangerous" side of town and have never felt that in order to protect society it is imperative that I hold onto a gun. I do not consider myself a liberal or a conservative but a person about common sense and common sense tells me that too many people with too many personal rights creates chaos. She definately has every right to believe the way she does as does every Houstonian that doesn't believe in an Arcahic rule system designed to protect the absurd rights of some and put limitations on social care. But who knows maybe in some mixed up way you actually beleive what you are saying.
Swirl, an armed society is a polite society. If government banned all guns, the only people that would have them would be police and criminals.

Contrary to popular belief in regards to the Old West, there were only a few real gunfights that occurred. More than likely guns were not carried, especially when on the job.

Like you, I don't carry a gun, but I will damn well take precautions when I venture out at night because of those people that don't value human live as much as I do.

I support Sarah Morgan's right to say and do stupid things, but when those rights infringe on someone elses rights, a point has to be called. It is a tricky line, but it has worked for a long time.

And lastly I don't believe everything I write. I interject a lot of humor that is meant to get chuckles, and doesn't have any intellectual value except to relieve stress. I've said on more than one occassionly this blog is how I vent my frustration in dealing with UH liberals all day long.
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