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Monday, April 11, 2005


UH Daily Cougar Columnist Justin Vann 'Empowering Conservatives?' (Are too many lib profs on America's campuses?)

Holding on to your hats folks, one of the DC's most fanatic libs may be cracking. Like Julian Wells in Less Than Zero, in which Robert Downey Jr had to really stretch his acting ability to play a drug addicted teen (yeah right), Justin Vann may finally be coming off the drug of liberalism, and hitting the withdrawal stage. It takes a long time to wean off liberalism, and there is a lot of vomiting, sweating, and shaking involved. Of course this is what Giugi Carminati does when she writes her tripe, so Justin is probably playing us all. But if you see Vann on campus, give him some words of encouragement and tell him to wipe the vomit off his chin.

In Justin Vann's tripe today "Bill doesn't solve university bias," Vann tries to explain the vast over abundance of liberals professors and professionals on campus. He references some obscure political science journal that boasted that "72 percent of U.S. college faculty members have identified themselves as liberal, as opposed to 15 percent representing conservative thought." Well duh. I believe that 72 number is skewed just to make the article pallitable to the conservative readers. Vann noted that there "are lots of potential explanations as to the prevalence of liberalism in U.S. colleges." Of course he won't mention most liberal professors aren't fit to lead a 'johnny detail.' That the lib profs can talk a good talk in the auditorium, but when the 'shit hits the fan', those libs will be running faster than General Gates at Camden from the British.

So why are there so many libs dinosaurs on campus. Well, as I mentioned in my teaser, it is "probably because they can't find real jobs." I mean, would you hire your liberal professor. Its incredible, how they can have so much knowledge about their expertise, but I will bet that have not one day of experience in their field. Has the poli sci prof ran for poltical office, has the technology prof been in any industry, has the history prof been in the military, or has the music professor had a music contract. I can go on with example after example.

Vann runs 708 miles to Florida and pulls Florida House Bill 837 out of his hat that the Florida legislature is trying to even the percentage of liberal vs. conservative professors on college campuses. Of course with our own states legislature now in session, its funny that Vann has to run so far away his thoughts.

Of course, 837 will not work. You cannot change a persons ideology overnight. Vann may be trying to play the Conservative, but he looks pretty liberal to me. Look at Vann's picture in the paper; you see that smile that says "I'm smarter that you UH weak minded students any day of the week. I'm liberal, I'm Gay, and I'm proud!"

Vann goes on about 837 stating "the impetus for the bill comes from some real academic horror stories," and continues to feed us with Auschwitz like academic horror stories of "students being singled out in classrooms and grilled over their opinions," he sobs the story of one girl like Anne Frank who "was given an F when she wrote "Why Saddam Hussein is a war criminal," in response to an essay question "Explain why George Bush is a war criminal." Where is the outrage!

Vann's atrocitoral "stories are also repeated endlessly by different students from a variety of schools on the Students for Academic Freedom Web page. I wouldn't even wish such terrible instances of academic bias on my enemies." Where is Simon Wiesenthal when you need him.

Vann's concern over 837 is heroic. He reminds me of Harriet Tubman, and probably would fit well in her dress. Yes, the "Moses of the UH Conservative Student" will lead us to the promised land. 837 would give students "the right to sue when they feel their ideology is being attacked, unrepresented or that they're being graded on the basis of those ideologies."

Vann expresses no concern over the "legally enforced pluralism and objectivity for the liberal professor" and surmises that "If this bill is actually passed, one of two things will have to happen for it to work: Either teachers will have to start buying malpractice insurance, or the state of Florida will have to explicitly decide what professors should be teaching." Vann, at this point should, like the Pope, be considered for fast-track canonization to sainthood.

Vann likened UH liberal profs as lap dogs for the UH Conservative student if the virus of conservatism spreads to lib dinosaurs. "What exactly constitutes bias? What degree of bias merits action? Just how thoroughly must a professor consider every position on a disputed subject? These are not questions we can definitively answer." We can only hope that there are enough therapist out there to support the lib profs that are going to go crazy. They might even have to transfer some shrinks from California.

Vann lovingly asks the question, "who can make the universities take action you ask?" Why "you can, silly." Vann wrote with limped wrist.

"I'm talking to the conservatives. Draw attention to bias when you see it. Call your professor out." It's the 'OK Corral' Justin Vann style.

Dont' worry "it's college, you can argue with" those liberal dinosaurs. You can tell your professor they are wrong and see how your grade does at the end of the semester. Has anyone noticed that none of the teaching assistants have a strong bone in their body. All those years of "yes professor" have taken their toll.

"And if you legitimately feel your grade is being based on your beliefs or opinions, talk to other professors or the department head. You could even write The Daily Cougar about it." Wow, Vann just told Conservates to write liberals on advice on how to solve Conservative problems. Why Justin Vann -- God Bless You (my apologies to the libs.)

Well, if anything Vann did learn the lesson of that "the law doesn't hold a solution to the overwhelming majority of liberals in academia." Yes Justin, the courts may have the upper hand in dispensing liberalism, and the universities may be satisfied with the percentages of liberals on campus vs. Conservatives, but no one will ever be able to leglislate Conservatism. It's a mindset that liberals will never understand.

Screw the libs!

You damn liar. You'll never post. Why don't you just say you are too lazy to write something!!!!!!
I'm sorry I haven't posted yet. Expect it between 8 and 8:30 pm.

After my exam today, I rushed home to start work on a proposal to a damn homeowners association. I have to ask permission to install an RV pad and cover on a house I want to buy. If I get the pad and cover, I'm not buying the house.

And anyway guys. I'll use the same analogy I use on my five year old nephew.

I'll give you two cookies now, and if you're patient and can wait five minutes, I'll give you two more cookies.

Patience guys, I'm almost finished with the proposal, and will type today's post up.

Can you say C-O-O-K-I-E.
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