- WARNING TIGHT-ASSED LIBS: IF YOU CAN'T TAKE A JOKE, DON'T READ THIS BLOG!
- JOHN F. KERRY'S COMMENTS REFLECT WHAT THE DEMOCRATS TRULY THINK ABOUT OUR TROOPS
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- HOW MANY DAYS UNTIL THE LIBERAL MEDIA REPORTS ON LIBERAL SENATOR "DINGY" HARRY REID AND HIS LAND SCANDAL AND ILLEGAL USE OF CAMPAIGN FUNDS?
Friday, April 08, 2005
Top Ten Things Liberals Want from God
10. To use God's name to fool weak minded UH students into praising Democrats.
9. Remove 'In God We Trust' from all American money.
8. Take 'Under God' out of the Pledge of Allegiance.
7. For God to have Mary abort Jesus.
6. Stop making all tax collectors Christians.
5. For God to make all women only love women.
4. For God to make all men only love men.
3. For God to stop all Americans from warring.
2. For God to stike all Conservatives down.
1. For God to stay out of their miserable liberal lives forever.
Excellent argument for a supposed college student. What are you studying? Urinal clensing techniques?
By hacking my comments and character to death, the Godless libs are trying to build up their own self esteem enough to keep themselves from committing suicide.
I've seen war, the deaths of people firsthand. I don't gloat about my service record, but I am proud that I served when my country called and I did not run and turn tail like a lot of liberals would have done.
I've seen freedom, people crossing into a land where they could do things they wanted within the bounds of the law. Twice. Of could you libs would love to have Saddam Hussein back in office if you could get away with it.
I've seen people in bondage, where if people spoke out against the government or its leaders, they would be arrested and executed.
No gentleman, you do not understand because you have not seen battle, death, or service to this great country. You have not but contempt for her and the great people who have served her in tough times.
You prance around campus like little the liberal "steers" you are speaking out for our enemies as if you were Jane Fonda herself -- and you cannot help it. You are saddled with the sins of your 1960's parents who were complete wimps compared to your 1940's grandparents.
It wouldn't hurt if you really put yourself into the shoes of the other side. I know its probably to late for some of you to have "seen" what I have seen. But you still have time to feel pride in the United States, instead of feeling contempt for it.
But THEY DID NOT PROTEST against our countries policies in wartime. They supported the military.
Those men DID NOT visit America's enemies and sit on their anti-aircraft artillery pieces and praise the enemy, during the goddamned war.
Those men DID NOT go overseas to Europe and Russia to protest against America's policies, during the goddamned war.
Those men DID NOT write their ROTC instructors and saw that they "loathed the military", during the goddamned war.
I'm talking about those REAL "liberal pussyboys" as you say that are running around UH talking "shit" and hearsay, thinking they know everything when they've only had their head buried in books, listening to liberal dinosaur professors about a skewed truth.
There is only one Vietnam Veteran professor on the UH campus, and a majority of his fellow professors around campus, especially in AH and PGH were calling for his "death" back in the 60's.
Screw the libs!
Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States! Too long has your attention been waylaid by the bright baubles of extremist thought. Too long have fundamentalist yahoos of all religions (except Buddhism -- 14-5 vote, no abstentions, fundamentalism subcommittee) made your head hurt. Too long have you been buffeted by angry people who think that God talks to them. You have a right to your moderation! You have the power to be calm! We will use the IED of truth to explode the SUV of dogmatic expression!
People of the United States, why is everyone yelling at you??? Whatever happened to ... you know, everything? Why is the news dominated by nutballs saying that the Ten Commandments have to be tattooed inside the eyelids of every American, or that Allah has told them to kill Americans in order to rid the world of Satan, or that Yahweh has instructed them to go live wherever they feel like, or that Shiva thinks bombing mosques is a great idea? Sister Immaculate Dagger of Peace notes for the record that we mean no disrespect to Jews, Muslims, Christians or Hindus. Referred back to the committee of the whole for further discussion.
We are Unitarian Jihad. We are everywhere. We have not been born again, nor have we sworn a blood oath. We do not think that God cares what we read, what we eat or whom we sleep with. Brother Neutron Bomb of Serenity notes for the record that he does not have a moral code but is nevertheless a good person, and Unexalted Leader Garrote of Forgiveness stipulates that Brother Neutron Bomb of Serenity is a good person, and this is to be reflected in the minutes.
Beware! Unless you people shut up and begin acting like grown-ups with brains enough to understand the difference between political belief and personal faith, the Unitarian Jihad will begin a series of terrorist-like actions. We will take over television studios, kidnap so-called commentators and broadcast calm, well-reasoned discussions of the issues of the day. We will not try for "balance" by hiring fruitcakes; we will try for balance by hiring non-ideologues who have carefully thought through the issues.
We are Unitarian Jihad. We will appear in public places and require people to shake hands with each other. (Sister Hand Grenade of Love suggested that we institute a terror regime of mandatory hugging, but her motion was not formally introduced because of lack of a quorum.) We will require all lobbyists, spokesmen and campaign managers to dress like trout in public. Televangelists will be forced to take jobs as Xerox repair specialists. Demagogues of all stripes will be required to read Proust out loud in prisons.
We are Unitarian Jihad, and our motto is: "Sincerity is not enough." We have heard from enough sincere people to last a lifetime already. Just because you believe it's true doesn't make it true. Just because your motives are pure doesn't mean you are not doing harm. Get a dog, or comfort someone in a nursing home, or just feed the birds in the park. Play basketball. Lighten up. The world is not out to get you, except in the sense that the world is out to get everyone.
Brother Gatling Gun of Patience notes that he's pretty sure the world is out to get him because everyone laughs when he says he is a Unitarian. There were murmurs of assent around the room, and someone suggested that we buy some Congress members and really stick it to the Baptists. But this was deemed against Revolutionary Principles, and Brother Gatling Gun of Patience was remanded to the Sunday Flowers and Banners committee.
People of the United States! We are Unitarian Jihad! We can strike without warning. Pockets of reasonableness and harmony will appear as if from nowhere! Nice people will run the government again! There will be coffee and cookies in the Gandhi Room after the revolution.
I to am on my personal Jihad -- my crusade is against liberalism.
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